Biden Clarifies US Will “Have” Emissions by 2030, Not “Halve”

Pictured: US President Joe Biden saying, “Now, hold on just a minute.”

UNITED STATES — President Joe Biden gave a speech concerning climate change on Thursday and unveiled an updated carbon pledge for the United States, but he was later required to clarify a small reporting error made by nearly every major news outlet. “I meant we are going to ‘have’ emissions in 2030,” President Biden clarified, “Not ‘halve’ emissions. That would be insane. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to cut emissions in half, but holy crap, are you kidding me?” Biden has made climate change a key focus for his administration and gained even more popularity with his citizens by rejoining the Paris agreement on his first day in office. The US leader is set to meet with 40 other world leaders at a virtual summit in the White House to raise ambition on tackling climate change. The meeting is intended to re-assert US global leadership in climate issues after disgraced former President Trump spent the duration of his time in office making America look like a pack of violent dick heads, among other things. President Biden is currently being praised for his honesty about the reporting error and likelihood of US companies actually caring or doing anything differently.



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