Burger King Under Investigation for Death of Gigantic Chicken King
UNITED STATES — Burger King has been accused and is currently under investigation for murdering the 50-foot-tall ‘ King of the Chickens’ and using his meat for its new Ch’King chicken sandwich.
“Burger King had nothing to do with the tragic loss of the Chicken King, and our hearts go out to all those affected by his death,” Melanie Baker, 45, a spokesperson for the major fast-food chain told reporters during a press conference, “We’ve maintained an understanding with the royal Chicken family for many decades now, and it would be foolish of us from both a business and ethical perspective to act outside of our agreement.”
Burger King, like many restaurants, has a contract with the royal Chicken family and is allotted a certain number of chickens each year based on that agreement. The Burger King and Chicken King have vacationed together and held numerous positive meetings in the past. Assassination attempts on various members of the royal Chicken family have been made in recent years, but in May, King Chicken, the patriarch of the royal Chicken family, was announced missing. After weeks of searching, a single talon belonging to the five-story-tall behemoth was found in a dumpster outside of a slaughterhouse known for providing meat to Burger King restaurants across the US.
“There’s a deal where they give you a free whopper if you buy a Ch’King sandwich,” an anonymous Burger King patron tweeted, causing the internet to look deeper into the mysterious death as well as Burger King’s tremendous deals, “I think it’s because they murdered the King of the Chickens and they’re trying to sell his dead body as fast as possible. It’s like Game of Thrones out here, except it’s so, so, so much better.”
The post quickly turned into an argument about whether or not the HBO series Game of Thrones was good, but it prompted officials to search the slaughterhouse and find the talon, bringing some semblance of peace to the Chicken Kingdom. The Queen of the Chickens is set “cluck” and “ba-cock” during a press conference tomorrow morning regarding the future of leadership in the Chicken kingdom.