Cat Shitting, Puking Brains Out “Totally Healthy”
ST. PAUL, MN — Monica Bonner, 22, has taken her freckled domestic short hair, Big Bopper, 3, to the vet a dozen times this month and she says she’s tired of it. “I’m tired of it,” she said in a recent Facebook post, “He starts puking and shitting everywhere and I take him to the vet and they’re like, ‘oh that’s just cats,’ and they send me home with a tin of wet food that costs $300.” Cats are known for vomiting everything out of their wretched guts and blasting bloody diarrhea all over the floor while acting like nothing is happening. “Sometimes I think they just do it for attention, but I can’t tell people that,” Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, 47, a veterinarian at Ellison Animal Hospital told us in a phone interview, “Literally cats are so full of shit. They puke, shit, piss, and nine times out of ten I just have a hell of a time getting them in and out of their carriers and that’s all I do as a fucking job all day.” Cats experiencing digestion issues can be given boiled chicken and rice or bland wet food to calm an achy tummy. Reports indicate they will probably barf it all over the damn place, and then lay on your pillow and live for another fifteen years, but they will occasionally rub against your leg while your hands are full of sharp objects and that’s a good enough reason to keep them alive.
