CDC Warns Against Traveling for 4/20 Because You Are Just Too High My Guy

UNITED STATES — As another holiday passes during COVID-19 pandemic restrictions, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has issued more warnings against domestic and international travel, but this time for a different reason than the virus. “Just order some delivery food and watch Saving Private Ryan again or something,” a CDC representative announced on Tuesday, “Stay the course. You’re too high to travel anyway my guy. Can you imagine trying to get through an airport right now? After you just drank a 100mg 1:1 CBD/THC hybrid seltzer water? That would suck.” 4/20 is a widely celebrated holiday devoted to cannabis and its range of uses. US citizens will commonly get ‘stoned out of their minds’ on 4/20 without the usual guilt that follows normal habitual cannabis use. Most people who participate in the holiday don’t typically travel, but this year experts are urging citizens to “really, really” not travel for it. “You guys need to really, really not travel,” the CDC’s announcement continued, “like really, really, really stay inside and just zone out or whatever. Unless you have to travel to buy weed or something. That’s fine.” While these restrictions are easier to follow for people who live in states where cannabis use is legalized, citizens in dry states will most likely have to travel to dealers or neighboring states to get sticky good-good Kush. CDC has stated that these occurrences will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis and will mostly be given legal immunity for the day.