Contact Lenses Start Imaginary Little 2-Week Timer Once Removed from Packaging

Pictured: 2-week contact lenses that are safe for years in their original packaging but will apparently fucking explode 14 days after they're removed.

UNITED STATES — The exact reason prescription contact lenses expire is largely a mystery to the general public, but optometrists maintain that a little imaginary 2-week timer begins ticking the moment someone removes them from their packaging. “Why is it that my contacts can sit in their little case for years and it’s fine, but when I take them out to wear them once and then put them back in a case with solution, all of a sudden it’s a race against time to throw them away before they rot my eyeballs out of my head?” Celine McDermont, 26, a long-time user of 2-week prescription contact lenses wrote in a viral social media post that put the entire optometry community on blast, “What the hell is the difference?” Although hundreds of eye doctors were tagged to the post, all of them remained quiet and refused to answer McDermont’s question. The fact that 2-week contacts need to be thrown away within 2 weeks of opening the packaging, regardless of whether the owner has worn them, is believed by many visually impaired individuals to be a “bull shit little play” by manufacturers to sell more contacts. “They think we’re stupid because one woman got her eye eaten by bacteria or whatever, so now they want everyone to follow their little rules. It’s stupid,” McDermont commented on her post. Although the question is valid, many people accurately pointed out that nobody cares what she does in her life, and she is fully allowed to wear her contacts as long as she wants. Those comments have since been deleted by McDermont.