Delusional Woman Posts Selfie

Cara Mathis, 26, posting some boring ass picture of herself.
Cara Mathis, 26, posting a picture of herself for seemingly no reason.

CHICAGO, IL — Friends of Cara Mathis, 26, have been voicing concerns that Mathis has been posting pictures of herself as if nothing is happening in the world right now. “She posted a picture of herself wearing an Adidas hat with the caption, ‘new hat, what election?’ and it’s like bitch nobody cares about your dumb ass Adidas hat right now,” an anonymous member of her friend group told local news outlets. The posts have been appearing on Mathis’ Facebook page, Facebook story, Instagram grid, Instagram story, Twitter, TikTok and numerous group text messages. “It’s the same bullshit post and it’s on every single platform,” another on of Mathis’ anonymous friends wrote in an email to our staff, “She thinks she’s a celebrity because she did stand-up comedy for three months and got 100 likes on a photo one time. Now she thinks she has to like, maintain all of this public persona bullshit that nobody gives a fuck about.” Mathis could not be reached for comment because her friends asked us not to mention what they said out of fear that Mathis will feel upset. Top experts in the field of ‘talking shit’ agree that most individuals who engage in talking shit have no backbone and cannot back up their shit even a little bit.

Comedy Writer