Fire Fighters Break Down Door Even Though They Have a Key and There Isn’t a Fire

Pictured: Two firefighters breaking down a door even though they definitely have a key.

CHICAGO, IL — Firefighters and emergency personal were called to an apartment complex in Lakeview yesterday after a small group of bricks fell from its roof onto the sidewalk three stories below. “I live in the apartment right underneath where all those bricks fell,” Lily Scamander, 26, told local news, “I didn’t even notice anything. The roof wasn’t caving in or anything, so I was super surprised when the fire department broke down my door and told me I had to leave the building. I was like, you could have just knocked and told me that. I don’t know why they broke the door.” Nobody was reported injured, and the building was deemed structurally safe to inhabit. Initially, the building needed to be cleared as a safety precaution, so rescue workers were given keys to the building and told to knock on each door before using the key to enter. However, those instructions did not stop a group of volunteer firemen, who were already excited to break a bunch of doors, from breaking every door in the building. The three men broke a total of 18 doors, mostly to enter apartments that were already empty, and caused the building’s maintenance employee to have a long day of fixing locks. “I gave them keys!” Mark Donnelly, 30, the building’s maintenance manager, told reporters, “I have to fix all of these locks now! This happens all the time. It’s like firefighters don’t know how to use keys.” The firefighters left to get food shortly after breaking the doors, proudly telling city officials that their job was finished while the building’s tenants looked on in horror. The cause of the bricks falling was later attributed to the fact that every building in Chicago is 100 years old and sucks.

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