Local Man “Loves the Ocean”
CHICAGO, IL — John Bennett, 36, spent yesterday afternoon writing a lengthy Facebook post that read, among other things, “I love the ocean.” Bennett, who lives in a one-bedroom apartment in Lakeview, has reportedly seen both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans on several occasions, and each time felt that he was more connected to them than other people. “The ocean has rejuvenating effects on me,” Bennett continued in his post, “I wish I could begin every morning by dipping my body into its wisdom.” The post, which is accompanied by a picture of Bennett meditating while sitting in a shallow pool on a beach in the Pacific Ocean 3 years ago, has garnered 59 likes in one day. “Lake Michigan just isn’t the same,” he wrote in the comment section, achieving the ranking of top and only comment on his post. Bennett has been asked by critics of his identity why he won’t move to a coastal area, to which the self-proclaimed spiritual guru has always responded, “It’s too far away and I have a good job right now.” Bennett reportedly posted a picture of himself a short time later using a glass straw with the caption, “Straws are wasteful.” Sources close to Bennett have reported that this photo is the first time anyone has ever seen him use a glass straw.
