New Photo Law Requires Influencers to Reveal They Are Actually Aliens from The Tomorrow War
UNITED STATES— A stunning new law passed Monday which requires social media influencers to reveal, underneath all their Photoshop edits, that they are actually a species of mutant killer dogs from space, as seen in the recently released film The Tomorrow War starring Chris Pratt. “It sucks because I know this is going to mess up my influencer income,” one of the disgustingly violent and cold-blooded, horn-throwing creatures wrote in a long post, revealing her identity after the law was passed, “but I’m happy to no longer be a tool causing young women to have unrealistic expectations for how they should look. Just love yourself, girls.” The post received some praise, but mostly confusion, with the vast majority of followers being truly unable to comprehend the fact that the 20-year-old thirst-trap-posting college coed they thought they were following is actually a 9-foot-tall, deranged human killing machine with little need for money. The law serves as an effort to combat unrealistic feelings of inadequacy in young people, and to identify all the aliens from The Tomorrow War so that they can be killed before something like that movie actually happens. The Tomorrow War, rated PG-13, is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.
