News Still Overshadowed by Death of 99-Year-Old
UNITED KINGDOM — It has been over a week since the death of Prince Philip, who passed away in Windsor Castle at the age of 99, and international news outlets are continuing to cover it as if it just happened. “COVID is insane, there are tons of shootings in America, racism everywhere, the world feels like it’s burning,” Artie McMillian, 44, a construction worker in the UK told BBC reporters, “so when I get on BBC and see that an old guy who married his cousin, referred to himself as a prince way past an appropriate age, and died at 99 years old is still the main headline like a week later, I’m just like, who fucking cares?” The English royal served a long life of ‘humor’ and ‘being cool about stuff’ that the rest of his family now greatly misses. Queen Elizabeth, Philip’s wife and the woman that many people believe will be next in the royal bloodline to pass away has reportedly shown brief moments of emotion regarding the situation. “People die all the time, and they don’t get weeks' worth of bullshit about it,” McMillian continued, physically pulling back a slowly retreating BBC reporter, “He’s probably happier now that he’s dead and he doesn’t have to deal with you fucking people.” Prince Philip’s funeral procession began yesterday and is expected to last until early 2022. During this time, investigations into the royal family regarding accusations of racist behavior brought on by royal family member Meghan Markle have been deemed ‘unimportant’ and suspended.
