Older Sister Chugs Chip Bag
CHICAGO, IL — In a move that stunned her little brother, Mary Price, 17, of Lakeview, picked up a chip bag and poured the remainder of its contents into her mouth like it was a liquid, or at the very least, a non-Newtonian fluid. “She freaking chugged it,” Devin Price, 12, Mary’s brother, reported to their parents, “It was basically half full too. She acted like it was crumbs, but she took like ten big gulps out of it.” The chips were Cheetos Crunchy, a popular snack in the Price household. Mary, Devin, and Devin’s friend Todd, 12, were watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, a program that reportedly “only Mary wanted to watch” when the incident took place. The matriarch of the Price family, Catherine, 41, brought the chips down as a snack, but soon realized her mistake. “Mary’s a chip chugger, yeah,” Catherine said to her children and their friend, “It’s bad. Mary, don’t put your mouth on the chip bag and don’t drink out of it. Share with the boys. What is the matter with you?” Sources close to the family say that Mary and her parents had a brief argument before the high school junior stormed outside and drove to her boyfriend’s house like a dramatic little Cheetos-covered butterfly. She is expected to return home at some time this evening, smelling like weed, and behaving like a “freaking jerk.”
