Study Finds 97% of Step Siblings Have Banged It Out

Austin Mooney
2 min readOct 6, 2020

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Step siblings most likely deciding what they are going to eat for lunch.
Pictured: Two step siblings most likely deciding what they are going to eat for lunch.

CHICAGO, IL — An internet study conducted by DePaul University which examined a remarkably smalls sample size of different websites has estimated that 97% of step siblings aged barely 18 to 19 have banged it out in one form or another. “This could mean the step sister snuck in to her brother’s bedroom while he was asleep and gave him a blow job, or the step sister cranked the brother off under the kitchen table while speaking to a MILF, or in front of her dad or something,” Marcus Banks, 44, head of research at DePaul University reported in his research write-up, “This of course doesn’t take into account the MILF. I think if we included stepparents in the equation, the percentage would be much larger.” Banks released a master list of websites he examined which became very popular among students. “Porn is in everything he studies,” a student who requested to remain anonymous told us in a phone call, “I think he’s having a mental health issue. He’ll just watch porn in front of students, like dude doesn’t give a shit.” The research document can be found on DePaul’s website which was temporarily shut down after the immense attention it received from faculty and students.

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