Practically Invisible Spider Web Caught on Sleeve Ruins Walk

Pictured: Michael Ryans aggressively indicating where he felt the mild tickle of a spider web.

UNITED STATES — Michael Ryans, 29, and his girlfriend Tessa O’Brian, 25, were enjoying a late-night walk around their neighborhood when something caught Ryans’ attention. “I felt that thready tickle on my arm that you usually feel because of hair or a spider web,” Ryans reported in an interview with a local news outlet, “but I couldn’t see anything. I kept trying to brush my arm off, but it wouldn’t stop.” The invisible thread caught on his arm began unraveling the couple’s entire evening. “I was so annoyed by it, I just wanted to go home and shower,” Ryans continued, “It completely ruined the walk.” O’Brian, who has been in a relationship with Ryans for three years, informed reporters that her boyfriend is “a bitch about spiders” before leaving the room for the duration of the interview. Ryans maintains that although he never found a spider, there was probably a spider on him at some point and it was enough of a reason to end the walk early. A GoFundMe page set up by friends of the couple as a joke to raise money for “eradicating all of the spiders that are outside” has already earned $33million and has been shared on social media over 900,000 times.

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