Rudy Giuliani Leaks Oil in Embarrassing Reveal That He is Robot
UNITED STATES — Former mayor of New York and current attorney to the US president, Rudy Giuliani, continued to be an absolute train wreck of a public figure this week after appearing on television with a mysterious liquid leaking from his head. “It’s just a little motor oil,” Giuliani laughed before reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief already soaked in mucus and wiping his head. The audience laughed at this comment and assumed that the liquid was hair dye. “His hair has never been that dark before,” a journalist at the speech reported, “so we all assumed it was hair dye. I never would have considered the truth.” It was later revealed in a hard-hitting expose put together by a conspiracy YouTube channel that Giuliani was telling the truth about leaking motor oil, and he is actually an android. “I’m an android, what the hell do you want from me?” Giuliani said once he got off stage, forgetting that he was still holding the podium’s microphone up to his mouth, “You think I could stay alive this long? With COVID and all that? These snowflakes are ridiculous. Look at me. I’m a piece of shit. Of course I’m an android.” A spokesperson for Joe Biden has confirmed that once power is shifted to the Biden team in January, Giuliani will be reprogramed to play football with Biden’s two dogs Major and Champ.
