Sausage Making Not Pretty

Pictured: Sausage being made.

UNITED STATES — President Joe Biden has confirmed that people who say they do not want to see how the sausage is made are correctly implying that the production of sausage is not pretty. “It ain’t pretty,” President Biden told a room of confused journalists during a press conference that was supposed to focus on strengthening US cybersecurity, “The way the sausage is made, I mean. Have you been to the slaughterhouse? I used to go to my local butcher, eh, meat counter guy, Rich, whatever, by my house. Back in the fifties. Can you believe it? We would get a slab of beef for a pound. Back then they didn’t call it a pound, though, they called it a buck.” The president’s wandering anecdote about buying meat at a meat store in the fifties lasted for 25 minutes and ended with him opening the floor for questions. Journalists asked the president to comment on the state of US cybersecurity against online terrorist groups and the president reportedly put on sunglasses, smiled, and told them, “You don’t want to see how the sausage is made,” before peeling out of the parking lot in a souped-up hybrid pick-up truck. The comment has left people speculating that the president meant US cybersecurity is not pretty, much like the production of sausage, and it would be better for people to be unaware of what is happening so that they can keep eating the internet.