Sneeze Renewed For 23 More Sneezes

Austin Mooney
1 min readSep 29, 2021

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Pictured: Kelly Bordeaux, 24, ecstatic by the news from her face that she will get to continue sneezing.

UNITED STATES — After the popularity and rise of her first sneeze, Kelly Bordeaux, 24, has confirmed that her face has decided to renew the release for 23 most sneezes. “I-,” Bordeaux began saying before sneezing three times in short succession, “I can’t stop.” The crowd of coworkers surrounding Bordeaux reported that the sneezing “was a lot” but ultimately “sounded satisfying” for her. After removing herself from the work area and going to the bathroom, the young research associate returned to her colleagues with some highly anticipated news. “I sneezed 24 times!” She exclaimed to the now less populated room. Although not each of the sneezes was necessarily a smash hit in the same way the first sneeze was, the harder hitting sneezes balanced out the group in a way that ebbed and flowed to create one of the greatest overall series of sneezes to ever be released from someone’s face. When asked if she regretted ending the sneezing fit, Bordeaux replied, “What? No. I don’t want to sneeze forever. What are you talking about?” Video of the sneezes was reportedly taken by a coworker in the women’s restroom and is set to be released to trusted members of the office whenever Bordeaux goes home.

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