“Sneezing Same as Orgasm” Says Virgin Doctor
CHICAGO, IL — A local doctor is claiming that the ‘good feeling’ a person experiences after sneezing is similar to an orgasm because the release of endorphins during these two phenomena occurs similarly in the brain. “Sneezing is the same as orgasming,” Dr. Viktor Thompson, 40, told CBS Chicago viewers during a morning talk show interview, “Take an orgasm, and then take a sneeze. They are the same.” The doctor’s idea was quickly challenged by callers. “When I sneeze, it’s because I feel like shit and I then I get made because I got snot all over my damn living room table. Is sex really that bad for y’all?” one caller chimed in. “Admittedly I have never had sex,” Dr. Thompson replied, surprising everyone who could hear him, “but I’ve watched what happens to brains during sex, and I can assure you that I do sneeze sometimes, so I can safely assume that they are similar.” Hundreds of calls came flooding into the morning show, which does not normally take calls, to debate the issue. The vast majority of callers admitted that blasting semen everywhere is similar to blasting snot everywhere, but the feelings those two acts provide are in no way similar. “I’ve never had my family ask me to leave the dinner table because I uncontrollably jizzed 25 times in a row. My wife does not like it when I sneeze on her. It sounds like you need to get your dick sucked doc,” the final caller told Dr. Thompson before the phone lines were turned off by producers. After the appearance, Dr. Thompson announced on social media that he is going to visit a sex worker who is currently experiencing allergies to further his research.
