Unemployed Man Probably Going to Watch Videos Explaining History of Grand Theft Auto Today

CHICAGO, IL — Mike Feldmann, 31, was laid off of his customer service position near the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic in March of 2020 and has been spending his days trying to figure out new ways to pass time while looking for another job. “I realized I didn’t know very much about Grand Theft Auto games before GTA3,” Feldmann told us in a phone interview, “So I’m probably just going to spend today watching videos about that. The second one they put out wasn’t technically Grand Theft Auto 2, it was just their second attempt at making the first GTA, and it was only available as a cabinet arcade game. Did you know that? I thought that was interesting.” Feldmann has been applying to roughly twenty jobs per day since losing his job almost a year ago and he has had little luck. He has a bachelor’s degree and a wide portfolio of work, but COVID-19 has created a vacuum of unemployment that has caused a vast majority of the global population to rely on employment assistance until the job market bounces back. “GTA4 looks really cool,” Feldmann continued, sounding dazed, “Nico looks cool. I heard the Ballad of Gay Tony DLC was fun, but I never got to play it. I played GTA3, Vice City, San Andreas, and GTA5, but never 4. It’s just too old to go back, you know? Like, old games are just hard to get excited about, but it’s cool to watch the game play. Shit, I would play it. I might try to play it actually, since I have time.” Feldmann then dropped the phone, and continued talking about GTA games without noticing, “Just waiting for GTA6 to come out, but you know Rockstar isn’t saying anything about that. Some people online say it’s going to be set in Miami like Vice City, which is cool, but I think they should do Las Vegas. I mean, LA and Miami feel pretty much the same in a video game, so it doesn’t feel like that big of a change from GTA5, but either way, I’m down.” Feldmann soon passed out from talking in circles about video games and ended his interview with us. He has since begun writing a blog about video games and has already amassed nine followers in just over two months.