US Navy Blue Angels Simulate Air Raid Over Chicago
CHICAGO, IL — In an event that is being called “oh wow” by small pockets of 9-year-olds across the area, The US Navy Blue Angels jet-flying spectacle is spending this weekend simulating how air raids would sound over the city of Chicago. “Oh wow,” said a nine-year-old boy in Logan Square after hearing, seeing, and feeling the 15th flyby from the colossally loud military jets, “It hurts, but it’s cool.” The exercise is being condemned by many adults and war survivors for sounding like an impending terrorist attack and adding to the general sense of chaos already present in most US cities. “The Afghanistan shit is freaking me the fuck out, and COVID-19 numbers are spiking, plus they’ve been doing construction in front of my place for weeks, so it’s just like, can we not do the loud jet thing over my apartment right now?” Tilly Porter, 39, a professor at Northwestern, tweeted to her 126 followers, receiving 70 likes, which Twitter experts agree is a tremendous ratio of likes to followers. The US Navy has issued a statement saying that a real air raid would have sirens blaring and bombs going off, but the Blue Angels’ jet sounds would be very similar to the sounds that someone would hear from jets during such an occasion. The annual Blue Angels Air and Water Show is scheduled to take place this weekend for the small group of unvaccinated 9-year-olds who asked their fathers to take them to it.
