Water Shut Off Just Because

Pictured: The result of water maintenance employee Brenda Fling, 44, turning off the water for a two-block stretch of buildings because she “hadn’t done it in a while.”

CHICAGO, IL — Two full blocks of Lakeview residents were stunned to find that their water was shut off by the city without warning Tuesday afternoon. “I realized I hadn’t turned the water off in a while,” Brenda Fling, 44, a water maintenance employee for the city of Chicago told local news, “So I turned it off just because I hadn’t done it in a while. It was fun. I love turning the water on and off.” The water was reportedly turned off for over seven hours. Many people who work from home were unable to use the bathroom or hydrate during that time. “I had to get in my car and drive to Jewel Osco to wash the soap off my hands because I put soap on my hands before I realized the water was turned off,” Oscar Michaels, 39, a resident of the affected area told local news, “You know how you got one flush left in the tank after the water’s off? I felt so dumb because I used that one on a piss, so now I got a big dump just sitting in there.” Water availability resumed around 6:30 pm after nearby building owners made the city aware of Fling’s actions. Sources indicate that Fling made fun of the complaints against her before taking her “sweet time” to turn the water back on. The city currently has no plans of taking disciplinary action against the veteran water maintenance employee because she is reported to be “the best one at turning the water on and off.”

Comedy Writer