Local Woman Wishes Men More Sensitive Despite Calling Every Man She Meets “A Pussy”

Pictured: Elizabeth Flowers, 25, smiling after calling her crush “a pussy” and causing him to walk away.
Pictured: Elizabeth Flowers, 25, smiling after calling her crush “a pussy” and causing him to walk away.

UNITED STATES — Social media followers of Elizabeth Flowers, 25, were surprised to discover through an Instagram post that the young waitress wishes men were more sensitive, despite recent reports stating that she typically calls every man she meets “a pussy.”

“Well yeah, most guys are pussies,” she told a confused group of friends who asked her to spell out what she actually wants, “But they should be more sensitive too. Like, hot guys are freaking pussies, but ugly dudes are also pussies. I don’t know.”

Flowers recently posted a picture of herself with a man she claims to be crushing on, accompanied by a caption that reads, “This pussy.” Sources close to Flowers claim that she is doing it out of some weird, deep-seated insecurity. The under five-foot, medium-pretty, waitress has experienced a slurry of poor relationships, most likely leading to and stemming from her salty approach towards courtship. However, friends and family have warned her to stop calling men pussies if she wants them to like her.

“She said it’s hot for some guys, and yeah, it is, but those are not the guys you want to attract,” Mary, Flowers’ sister told friends, “Like, men that like to be called pussies is a weird road to go down, Liz.”

Flowers has been recently adding the word “pussy” to past posts in a blatant act of defiance towards her friends and family. She has announced plans on her Instagram to begin an OnlyFans page devoted to calling men “pussies” later this month which is estimated to bring in “some serious cash.”

Comedy Writer